What If I Get Caught?

Blood rushing down my feet

Body glistening with sweat

Voice stuck in my throat

Just one question I had got

What if I get caught?

Always keeping up this pretense

Feelings inside me getting more dense

When nothing around me makes sense

In the mirror, I catch my glance

As empty as a pot

What if I get caught?

My guards are up all the time

My actions clash with soul of mine

Every time trying to be more refined

But always end up sighing

Am I asking for a lot

What if I get caught?

The superficial me is all good

Deep down, only I know the things I withstood

Never trust my mood

‘Coz I have got rules laid down and understood

Let’s get it I say but I dare not

‘Coz what if I get caught?

My eyes – expressionless and stone cold

I am doing what I am being told

Closing my heart securely with a bolt

Even if it opens up, I get a hold

My soul demands to loosen up the knot

But what if I get caught?

Want to talk but I am dumbstruck

Trying to open up but got no luck

In all this mess I am stuck

Like an ugly flower waiting to be plucked

Wan’ all this to stop

But what if I get caught?

Longing for things that never come

How can I be more dumb

As ugly duckling as I am

All I do is try hard till I am numb

When all my defenses fall on spot

What if I get caught?

Come on, it’s all going to be fine

To yourselves, be a little more kind ‘

you can do it’ bear it in your mind

Just give yourselves a bit more time

Much afraid but I’ll give it a shot but then…..

What if I get caught?


You’re shouting at me
Every chance we get to talk
Or if it’s otherwise
Silence sits heavy as rock

You’re pushing me away
Everytime we get close
We’re drifting apart
And you don’t even know

Disappointed with what’s become of us
The reason- I can’t even find
Going through a turbulent storm
But everything’s alright

Now, I’m coming to the terms
That you’re not by my side
And the feeling alone
Is killing me inside

Things That Make My Day

Even littlest of things can make our day a whole lot better and ruin it too. So, here are some things that never fail to make me happy-

  • Good dreams:- For me, a good sleep doesn’t matter but good dreams do. Not even the simple good dreams but the dreamy dreams where I’ll be at some really beautiful place or in an imaginary scenario with a person I like (Warning! Don’t let your mind wander elsewhere). Don’t judge me! My soul is practically flowing after good dreams and no force in this world can ruin that for me. Well, if we exclude exams and extra assignments.
  • Finding a good song:- You gotta believe me when I say that finding a good song is pretty much same as hitting a lottery for me. A good song goes a long way , quite literally, and will be my partner for some days before I find other ones or go back to old songs to feel nostalgic. Just today, I found this song Everything Sucks by vaultboy and have been smiling every time it comes up ( which is all the time as I have it on repeat). So, yeah! A good song is all it takes to freshen up my dampening spirit.
  • An interesting book:- Just wait till I find a good book with a gripping storyline and I can happily bid goodbye to my productivity ( not that it’s much to start anyway). However, after I finish it, I’ll get all sad thinking about how to find a new one. Thankfully, this awesome planet has provided me plenty of them. Thanks, Earth!
  • Good food:- I mean- good food aka junk food. I binge eat a lot and when I say a lot, it means basically everyday. And as it is the case with almost everyone, I regret it later. I regret it more when a pimple shows up or when I feel I’m getting fat. And still, whenever the chance shows up, this cycle goes on! ( It messes up with my budget too and I regret it again).

That sums up this post. There are still a lot of things that are left but I’ll cover them some next time. Let me know what makes you happy in the comments. I’ll be glad to know!!!

What If I Tell You

What if I tell you
The stories I’ve kept hidden
and the words I haven’t spoken.

What if I tell you
the feeling of tightening rope
When air won’t go down your throat
When your limbs thrash around
To hold onto whatever they can find.

Your life flashes before your eyes
When you know you’re gonna die.

What if I tell you
About hands roaming around
Even when you didn’t allow
Slowly, everything sinks in
but sorry, you hopeless creature
You can’t do anything.

What if I tell you
The malice underlying the benevolent smiles
And how guilt-free are those eyes
After they scarred you for life.

What if I tell you
There’s more to me
Than I let you see!

Will you stay
And listen to me?

The Hues

She encompassed the beauty
Of countless stars lighting up the sky
Waves and valleys stretched to infinite
Of beasts roaming around in the wild

Then came the children of Adam and Eve
Powered by knowledge and blinded by greed
Destroying and defiling what she offered
Exploiting the paradise in reverence of their needs

What’s left of her today
Are some shades of brown and grey
And a shimmer of hope
To restore her to the hues
Of greens and blues.

Words and smiles

Words are being poured out
Bitterness laced with honey
Iron fists topped with velvet gloves
Faces adorned with smiles
That don’t reach the eyes

It happens so fast
The moment I turn my back
The smiles being replaced by frowns
All it takes is a petty scowl
For me to fall

Pleasure and Pain

Her heart skipped a beat
When she first got a glimpse
Of his exquisite smile
As dazzling as sunshine
And when his touches left shivers
Down her spine
Her heart leapt
When it was being wrecked
Into a million pieces
All in an instant

It took a while
For her to realize
That pleasure and pain
Always felt the same